useful vs used

i think one of the funniest things about finsubs is how two people can send me the exact same amount and be getting off on completely different things.
one wants to feel useful.
they like knowing they paid for dinner, covered my coffee, bought something i wanted, made my day easier. there’s a little pride in it. like yeah, i did that for her.
cute.
then there’s the other kind.
they do not want to feel useful. they want to feel used.
they like the fact that i didn’t need the money. i could’ve bought it myself. i just preferred spending theirs.
that hits completely differently.
one sub sends $100 and thinks,

i helped her.

another sends $100 and thinks,

she really just took that because she could.

same notification on my phone. wildly different problem in their head.
and this is why i get bored when people talk about finsubs like they’re all running the same software. some of you want praise. some of you want me pleased. some of you want me mildly unimpressed while you keep sending anyway.
personally, i like finding out which version makes someone more embarrassed to admit.
because “i like providing for you” is one confession.
“i like knowing you didn’t need me at all” is a completely different one.

talk soon... 💋