I Don’t Need Your Money, I Just Want To Spend It.

I make enough money on my own. I’m comfortable, I’m well off, and I’m certainly not sitting around waiting for some loser to save me. That’s what makes taking your money so damn funny.

I don’t need your paycheck. I simply enjoy knowing you’re willing to hand it over because making me happy matters more to you than keeping it for yourself. There’s something ridiculously entertaining about watching a perfectly capable man become eager to give his money away just for a little attention from me.

Your tribute isn’t paying my bills. It’s buying you a place in my attention and honestly, I love watching you compete for it.

So go ahead, keep telling yourself you’re in control of your wallet. We both know how this ends.